Volume 8 | Issue 5 | May 2006   Let's admit it, life changes drastically when you have kids. It also has an effect on your youth ministry and creates some new challenges. So where do kids (babies, toddlers, and elementary age) fit into running an effective youth ministry? There are two extremes we want to avoid. The first extreme is the parents who bring their kids to every youth service, activity, and event. At first the teenagers think it is cool, but then the kids begin to be a nuisance and they want your undivided attention to listen. The other extreme are those parents who never involve their kids with anything the youth ministry does. Sometimes the wife drops off the face of the earth because she is always at home with the baby. The key here is balance. Let me share some thoughts with you that will hopefully help. First off, we must realize that part of our job is to be a role model and mentor to our students in the youth group. So we want them to see how we parent and interact with our kids. We want to show them what a healthy relationship is like. Years ago we were taking a youth ski trip over spring break. Not wanting to cheat my kids and make them stay home with a baby sitter on their spring break we opted to take our girls who were age 6 and 5. Kim ended up in a condo crammed full of girls and I ended up in a condo with a few older guys and had my own bedroom and bath in the loft. So my girls stayed upstairs in the loft with me. On the bus ride home one of the high school guys from my condo was visiting with Kim. She apologized that they had to have the girls and said she hoped they hadn't bothered them too much. He began to get tears in his eyes and he said, "No apology needed. In fact I want to thank you guys for bringing them. You see, I have grown up without a dad and I didn't know what dads were supposed to do. Each night after the girls had bathed they would come down to the living room in their PJs and Dean would brush their hair. I didn't know that dads were supposed to do that. By the end of the week the girls would even let us brush it for them." So what are we supposed to do? Here are some thoughts and questions that Kim and I would ask ourselves in determining our kids' involvement. If the church nursery is open we used it. Our kids didn't come to youth services. If I don't want a 17-year old bringing her baby to youth service then why should mine come? You and your wife should be free to give your time and attention to your students. Will my kids hinder the overall function of the activity or event? Something like a pizza night at the local Pizza Hut is an environment that my kids could easily blend into and be involved with. However, I wouldn't take my kids if our group was going to do a ropes course or a video scavenger hunt. When do I get a baby sitter and who pays for it? Discuss this one with your pastor. There were some events that Kim was a key player in the activity and I needed her undivided participation. Those were times we got a baby sitter and it was paid for by the church. Write up receipts and make it all above board. Other times, we could have brought the kids or Kim didn't have to be there, but we would go ahead and get a baby sitter and cover the expense out of our own pocket. What about the big events like summer camp? For 12 years I was the director of large summer camps, so my participation wasn't optional. We never had a babysitter that we were comfortable in leaving three kids under six with for five days. So, either we took them with us or Kim stayed home. If they did go, we did not put them in a cabin with the teenagers, Kim would stay with them in one of the leader's rooms. During the afternoon free time they were able to have some "Dad time" and keep their emotional batteries charged. Be cautious of the student "cling-ons." These are teenagers who always want to help with your kids when they are around. Initially this will seem like an awesome thing. Use caution because some teens will use this as an escape so they don't have to mix and mingle with the other students. Kim would gently nudge them back into the mix of the youth group. The last subject will be your other adult volunteers and their children. We generally had the policy that if their kids were not youth group age they did not participate in youth services or events. Seems like a double standard? Here is what I told my leaders. "Obviously I don't bring my kids on every event but occasionally I will. Due to my schedule and the pace that I run it is important for me to have my kids involved. This is my job it isn't optional whether I attend. You have a choice. If one of your kids needs your time and attention, communicate with us, but stay home, they are a priority." Talk with some other youth pastors this summer and get their input on this subject. Then formulate your plan and review it with your pastor and make sure he/she is cool with your plan. I pray that you will have an awesome summer of life altering ministry! Keep your spiritual batteries charged! Download a message for your Graduates and one for Moms! $12.00 "Mother's Day: Celebrate Mom" A very unique service and message to honor mothers. Get this one early to allow plenty of preparation time. "Graduation: A Message to the Senior Class" A timely message specifically targeted to help seniors realize the significance of their accomplishment and help prepare them for the next stage in life. How to Download an H2O Individual Sermon 1. Add the sermon to your shopping cart 2. Complete the shopping cart process and payment 3. Check your email. Within minutes, you will receive a confirmation email (to the email address you provided during checkout) with a link to download your sermon. We here at Dean Hawk Ministries are not partial to any certain hair color. We do, however, enjoy a good laugh regardless of the hair color being poked fun at. We hope you enjoy our silly jokes. The very first ever Blonde GUY joke..... And well worth the wait! An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building." The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too." The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too." The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well. At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said, "Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch."

Volume 8 | Issue 5 | May 2006   As you face the blitz of summer events, camps, mission trips, and activities remember to PLAN NOW for family days and vacations. Too often our families get the leftovers from a busy summer in youth ministry. One or two day getaways can be so refreshing. When you have been gone on an extended trip, be sure to schedule some comp days or vacation days with your family. You know as well as I do that so many PKs (Preachers Kids) don't want anything to do with God or church as they get older. One of the main reasons is they don't want anything to do with a god that took their dad or mom away from them. I can't blame them. My goal as a parent is to live a life of balance. Nothing would please me more than if any of my three kids pursued a career in full time ministry. But I know that they will not even give that a consideration unless they see a healthy model lived out in front of them. Nothing would be worse than standing before the thrown of God on judgment day having won 1000s of people to Christ yet our own children were lost. Get your stuff done today and head home an hour early to surprise your family. They are priceless and irreplaceable! Quench the Thirst of Your Family!   Itinerary Family First Conferences MAY 20 - Family First Conference, East Coast Christian Center, Merritt Island, FL. Call 321-452-1060 for more info. JULY 17-19 - Xtreme Summer Camp 2006, hosted by Cornerstone Fellowship Church, Christchurch, VA 804-725-9145 AUGUST 17-19 - Youth and College Convention, Joel Kitsemble Ministries, Wisconsin Dells, WI 608-663-4975 NOVEMBER 10-11 - Youth Fall Retreat, Burchfield Ministries, Columbus, TX 979-732-9200 12 - Sunday morning adult services, Family Life Church, Lake Jackson, TX 979-297-2811 Kim Hawk Needs Your Help! In June Dean will be celebrating his 25th year in full-time ministry (he started at age 10). His love language is Words of Affirmation and nothing would thrill him more than to get some emails from those of you who have either enjoyed these newsletters over the years and/or have used the curriculum. Or possibly there are some of you reading this who were his students when he taught Youth Ministry in Bible college. So, if you have a minute, could you please jot me an email at kim@deanhawk.com. I will print them out and put them in a binder we will be presenting to him in church the first weekend in June. Some of you already have written some notes within the last few months when we were holding a contest for free curriculum and I saved those. Thank you for taking a moment to write him, he will truly be blessed!   These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight "Searching for Jesus." The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth Into Joy." Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours. Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them. Rule Three: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you. Rule Four: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry. Rule Five: The following places are NOT appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Rule Six: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house.